Land shark
Weekly World News (Feb. 21)
“Villagers on a tiny South Pacific isle are living in terror of a mutant species of sharks that can crawl up on land and grab men, women and children like crazed tigers in a feeding frenzy,” reports the Weekly World News .
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The finned fiends already have killed 36 villagers and “are as ferocious as big cats.”
Meow.
The latest victim was 26-year-old Mindao Fa, a fisherman from Fiji, states the WWN .
“The hapless native was sleeping peacefully in his bed when the blood-crazed critter slinked on its short legs into his hut and pounced.”
The tabloid quotes a neighbor, Aleena Wula, as saying: “It was horrible. His brother Sani, who was asleep just feet away, was woken by the sounds of bones being crunched.”
Keep an eye on him: “An animal-rights activist who preaches that hunters should see things from the animals' perspective has replaced his eyeballs with a pair of cat's eyes,” reports the WWN .
Felix Bellows, a 22-year-old from Moosehead, Idaho, tells the tabloid that he had the procedure done to make a point.
“All anybody cares about here is hunting.” he states. “We have more taxidermists in Moosehead than doctors. I got sick and tired of people treating animals like they weren't human.”
Say what?
Before having his peepers, um, altered, Bellows tried a less-extreme measure: He joined an animal-rights group and started giving talks.
“I said you shouldn't kill an animal until you've walked in their hooves. Or paws. Or claws. Whatever.”
Then a hunter “challenged him to practice what he preached,” the tabloid states.
“I thought, ‘No way am I going to get hooves, but animal eye implants might be cool.'”
Then again, they just might be nuts.
